Good News

Well, as the late radio commentator Gabriel Heater used to say, “There’s good news tonight.” Jerry Springer—yes, the Jerry Springer—is bringing his show to Connecticut. That’s right he’s leaving the City of Broad Shoulders to our very own Stamford, the City that Wants to Be Part of New York. Yes, that dynamo of taste, sophistication and intellect will now grace the land of steady habits. And, get this fans, Jerry’s relocation will result in 150 more jobs in the Nutmeg State.

Think of that. At a time when Judges are being asked to donate a day’s pay to the general fund, the Client Security Fund is being filched out of $2 Million by the combined efforts of Governor Rell and the Legislature, and AIG executives are converting stimulus dollars into huge bonuses, there is at last some good news. Connecticut will be the home of that beacon of the entertainment industry which, singlehandedly, has had a greater impact on American culture than the adult film industry, Flavor Flav and the designated hitter.

The move, according to the ever-shrinking Hartford Courant, is occasioned by a 30 percent tax credit on production costs and additional tax savings of infrastructure costs. What I guess this means is that if you pay them they will come.

Of course, not all is as it first appears. The 150-plus jobs, Jerry tells us, are jobs now held by Chicago folks whom he’s planning to bring with him. Then, too, I suppose one might question the cultural worth of our new neighbor’s providing a nationwide stage to a ragtag collection of pederasts, exhibitionists, philanderers, concubines, fetishists, scum suckers, side-show performers and mud wrestlers right in our own back yard. One wonders whether, having transported the stage to our state Jerry will, as with the employees, also bring with him the accumulated misfits whose idiosyncrasies he exploits.

Perhaps I’m being too naïve. Maybe Jerry knows a good bit more than I do. Maybe, in addition to the tax savings Jerry will gain by the move, he will also be able to mine the vast untapped underbelly of Connecticut’s human oddities. Sure, the lady with the nut museum has passed on, and so has Jasper McLevy, the socialist mayor of Bridgeport, and PT Barnum as well, but maybe there.